Board Thread:Fun and Games/@comment-27044329-20170926154511/@comment-27044329-20171105154557

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BISHOP Oh- come, come – I’m treating Thomas like one of the family. And I’m sure he won’t object.

SHEILA (with mock aggressiveness)  Go, Thomas – just you object!

 THOMAS (smiling) Wouldn’t dream of it. In fact, I insist upon being one of the family now. I’ve been trying long enough, haven’t I? (As she does not reply, with more insistence)  Haven’t I?   You know I have.

 MRS B. (smiling)  Of course she does.

 SHEILA (half serious, half playful)  Yes – except for all last summer, when you never came near me, and I wondered what had happened to you.

 THOMAS And I’ve told you – I was awfully busy at the works all that time.

 SHEILA (same tone as before)  Yes, that’s what you say.

 MRS B. Now, Sheila, don’t tease him. When you’re married you’ll realize that men with important work to do sometimes have to spend nearly all their time and energy on their business. You’ll have to get used to that, just as I had.

 SHEILA I don’t believe I will. (Half playful, half serious, to THOMAS.)  So you be careful.

 GERALD Oh – I will, I will.

''ERIC suddenly guffaws. His parents look at him.''

SHEILA (severely) Now – what’s the joke?

ERIC Your face. Ayyy lmao

SHEILA You’re squiffy.

ERIC Wtf does that mean lol

MRS B. What an expression, Sheila! Really the things you girls pick up these days!

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; font-style: normal; line-height: 100%">ERIC If you think that’s the best she can do -

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; font-style: normal; line-height: 100%">SHEILA Don’t be an ass, Eric.

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; font-style: normal; line-height: 100%">MRS B. Now stop it, you two. Arthur, what about this famous toast of yours?

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; font-style: normal; line-height: 100%">BISHOP Yes, of course. (Clears his throat.) It takes about 30 seconds in a conventional household toaster, and the key is to only use full-fat butter on one side. Otherwise if you drop it, then it will spin eternally.

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; font-style: normal; line-height: 100%">SHEILA Goodness, it will spin forever? I think I might start weeping.

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; font-style: normal; line-height: 100%">THOMAS (smiling) Well, perhaps this will help to stop it. (He produces a ring case.)

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; font-style: normal; line-height: 100%">SHEILA (excited) Oh – Gerald – you’ve got it – is it the one you wanted me to have?

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; font-style: normal; line-height: 100%">GERALD (giving the case to her) Yes – the very one. It was so new, it cost 1040 Town Points. And now I’m all out of credit on my credit card.

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; font-style: normal; line-height: 100%">ERIC Gotta be honest here, a tissue probably would’ve been way more useful to my sister in both the long and short term, after all in the end aesthetics just make you get targeted more by the Mafia/Coven…

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; font-style: normal; line-height: 100%">BISHOP (rather heavily) I just want to say this. (Noticing that SHEILA is still admiring her ring.) Are you listening, Sheila? This concerns you too. And after all I don’t often make speeches at you -

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; font-style: normal; line-height: 100%">SHEILA I’m sorry, Daddy. Actually I was listening.

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; line-height: 100%; text-decoration: none">''She looks attentive, as they all do. He holds them for a moment before continuing.''

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; font-style: normal; line-height: 100%; text-decoration: none">BIRLING I’m delighted about this engagement and I hope it won’t be too long before you’re married. And I want to say this. There’s a good deal of silly talk about these days – but – and I speak as a hard-headed business man, who has to take risks and know what he’s about – I say, you can ignore all this silly pessimistic talk. When you marry, you’ll be marrying at a very good time. Last month, just because some players were protesting, there’s a lot of wild talk about possible forums trouble in the near future. Don’t worry. We’ve passed the worst of it. We moderators are finally coming together to see that our interests – and the interests of the owners of BMG – are properly protected.

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; font-style: normal; line-height: 100%; text-decoration: none">ERIC What about flame wars?

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; font-style: normal; line-height: 100%; text-decoration: none">BISHOP Glad you mentioned it, Eric. Just because an angry player makes a forum topic or two, or a few role-players have too much to drink and begin talking nonsense, you’ll hear some people say that war’s inevitable. And to that I say – fiddlesticks! The flamers don’t want war. Nobody wants war, except for some half-civilised folks in Dangan Ronpa forums. And why? There’s too much at stake these days. Everything to lose and nothing to gain by war.

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; font-style: normal; line-height: 100%; text-decoration: none">ERIC Yes, I know – but still -

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; font-style: normal; line-height: 100%; text-decoration: none">BIRLING Now you three young people, just listen to this – and remember what I’m telling you now. In six or twelve months’ time – let’s say, in 1940 – you may be creating a little party like this – your friends might be in the party – and I tell you, by that time you’ll be living in a world that’ll have forgotten all these Microtransactions versus Game agitations and all these silly little flame war scares. There’ll be peace and prosperity and rapid progress everywhere – except of course in the Role Ideas Forum, which will always be behindhand naturally.

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm; font-style: normal; line-height: 100%; text-decoration: none">MRS B. Arthur!