Board Thread:Off-Topic Posts/@comment-33167183-20181104142310/@comment-37421692-20181107021909

Addfire wrote: Look, I'm going to say something, and maybe it's a little centralized to me, and a lot of what I'm saying might come off with an easier said than done vibe, but...

Bet, so many of your problems stem from romance, from lost loves, from broken hearts. I honest to goodness suggest the Buddha's approach to your problems: desire leads to suffering, so get rid of desire.

I've heard a lot of people say that love is something you feel in your heart of hearts, something unchangeable that you just know has happened. Those are the romantics of the world, and Bet, I think you're among them.

But honestly? This sounds like desperation. When I see these patterns repeat over and over, I think at the very least, your problem is impatience. You want love, and you want it now, because True Love is real and if you fall Head Over Heels at first sight then it must be true.

But here's the thing, Bet, you're young! Really young! You've got the same chance anyone else your age does at finding love, which is a snowball's chance in hell. By rushing into love, time and time again, you only hurt yourself.

I'm not saying close off your heart, turn into an emotionless psychopath and then spend the next eight years training in the forest. But what I am saying is try and learn to exercise some restraint, some self-control, and keep yourself in check. Be patient. You'd be lucky to find someone at thirty. You aren't– no one is– going to find love when they're in their teens, regardless of what movies and books tell you.

Try and reign yourself in a little, Bet. Don't beat yourself up over a lost love, because it isn't love. I agree with all of the above ^

Like I said before, just wait and you'll find true love (Taoism confirmed? sorry).

You seem like a good person who is genuinely desperate to find a better life, but from some of your posts on other threads, I see that you have some trouble maintaining self-control to a certain degree. I believe if you can control yourself better, you might find your depression lifting off a bit, and you might be able to do things better. Now, this is just my opinions/suggestions, you don't have to listen to or follow them. I'm just trying to help.