User blog comment:ZedKiller13/Appreciation, Or So They Say/@comment-35890342-20200207021331

First of all, I would like to thank TLHP for bringing my attention to this :)

Second, I would like to give my input on this matter.

People do want to receive appreciation for what they do; it’s a natural part of human response. There’s always the idiom if you put in the effort and get recognition, it’s defined as the “fruits of your labor”. However, sometimes that’s not how the system works- some people put work in, but don’t get the recognition they deserve. That corresponds to all the small artists (music or actual) out there, who are trying to pick up their career.

I can relate to wanting recognition for the effort put into something. We all do. It really is a blow to have worked on something for a while only to have it get ignored. It’s probably one of my greatest fears, not receiving recognition on something that I’ve spent a long time on. But sometimes, that’s what you have to expect. Getting compliments really helps boost your morals, especially when you’ve done something for a while. A lot of people who start posting on the forums gets addicted to the wiki (I can personally say this myself), and when they finally do something worthwhile, they wish to be appreciated by the elders of the community, people who they look up to. There’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, it’s almost intuition. People look up to their uppers, as people look up to celebrities. They would scream in joy if a work by them were recognized by their idol. People think about this for many days, as this often can be a source of joy. This is similar to how people keep their actions and responses from other people on the back of their minds. As a quote from Maya Angelou, “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” This quote stands very true to almost everyone. You really won’t forget how someone made you feel.

Your reputation is nothing to worry about, I think you are definitely a well-respected individual and well rounded too. How many people can match your edits on this wiki? Your activity? Your kindness? Very few. For who you are in this wiki, you should just be yourself. I’m pretty sure you know this, but you should not think about what others are expecting from you. You should expect what you expect from yourself. You think you should answer questions or edit pages? Do it. No one will tell you what to do- your own actions will speak for yourself. And they’ve spoken very clearly that you care. And that’s something special.

Hating your old self is something, but it shouldn’t be something you dwell on (and I’m pretty sure you don’t) because if you can tell a difference between your old self and your current self, and see that you’ve grown, that’s important. You’ve done something right, and you should appreciate yourself for it. You’ve grown, and that’s great. I’ve thought the same before, noticing all the stuff I wasn’t doing correctly, grammar, attitude, performance, etc.​​​​​​

I’ve also thought about constantly of what I’ve done, what could I have done, what could have gone differently, what could have improved. It’s natural to ponder this question, even if there’s nothing you can do about it. One thing is to think about a topic, and wonder what could’ve gone differently, but it’s another to keep dwelling on it and not letting it go. There’s a point where you have to cut something off, simply because it doesn’t matter to you anymore, if you keep spending your energy on it, you’re only dragging yourself into a pitfall. I think it is your expectation of something to happen when there is nothing that can happen from past events is what is destroying you. Perhaps not mentally, physically, or emotionally as you said, but it can be harmful to your spirit. The self-doubt of your own actions. Have you wondered how life would be if you did not care so much for one thing and stop dwelling on it? Would it make you feel better? Perhaps even worse? These are all questions only you yourself can answer, and if you can provide a definite answer, you’ve either found your issue or resolved it. Even if you don’t think you’ll beat yourself up for something small, if you keep the same mindset, you are eventually going to. In fact, you probably were while writing the blog post. Even if you don’t feel it, the doubt keeps nagging at your mind, yes? That would be your mind smacking you with a stick called “What COULD have?” But it is important you sometimes take the whack and sometimes stop it.

I appreciate you Zed, not just for managing this wiki for quite a while, but for the person you are, and your willingness to share your thoughts. I’m pretty sure others appreciate you too, but internally. Showing your appreciation for others is a great thing, you should appreciate yourself that you go out of your way to thank someone for what they did; even if it’s a tiny gesture, it can be really substantial.  I truly appreciate you, from the bottom of my heart. I enjoyed the moments I’ve spent with you, even if they were few. I hope this message can help you a little.