Board Thread:Off-Topic Posts/@comment-35356104-20190817110952

This is an inactive notice of mine (I'll be back in October I guess, or maybe not, I don't know), but I get really nostalgic, and wrote this. My narration of things in Wiki.

I used to be a frequent visitor of Wiki & Forum without an account, til I saw a role idea unreviewed for days. Forgot the reason why would I wanted to step up for this. I joined. A little bit of worries, afraid of these sophisticated people who writes random essay, superior English and strong language. Well, those with special tag besides their usename were extra intimidating, especially the red name with profile picture of a robot, the purple thing with weird and fancy grammar and username of pikachu but profile picture of pink-haired anime girl.

Asked some questions, about editing. The red robot approached, and a Spy profile-pictured guy. Then, began my attempt at reviewing. First attempt to review roles, no idea how it would turn out. Eventually, I got my very first cookie from the anti-Firefighter, and the robot? Oh. Sounds cool. Those intimidating individuals give cookies too? After that, I approached role ideas very carefully, grammar is a thing I took extra care. Forgot the exact thing that's driving me to do more review. Remember some recognization from people around gave me some inspiration to move on. As thing goes on, I felt satisfied by myself. No more cookies to receive, but I found meaning in doing it. I actually do something with game knowledge. How wonderful. Review, review, and review, then it got me somewhere.

ToTM. Nominated by guy name Wolf, but picture? I don't what kind of cartoon is that. Feeling thankful for that guy who got me there. Another candidate, a senior user with more or less 3000 edits by that time, if I'm not mistaken, while his competitor, a 1 month old user, not having 100 edits. A little bit embarrased to begin with. What's next, review of course, cause the only thing I can do. I tried. But when I saw another candidate, that senior user, filled every single role ideas thread with reviews, even some old ideas were dug out. He was passionate. I couldn't bring myself to do the same because all I saw was only competition, like why should I do this? For myself? For vainity? For inferiority? God knows. I ranted. Looking back at myself in that particular moment. How dramatic I was. I swore I will never get myself in ToTM anymore. Looks heroic? Look stupid. Luckily, I don't regret it, even though, sometimes I wonder if I ever deserve a win, if I had done enough for the community. Check my edits. 3 digits still. Nah. It's okay. That's my acting career's debut, but also a retiring act I guess. I don't need it anymore, it doesn't need me either. No linkage between ToTM & GamesManiac, but I still respect the award, for it recognizes a lot of honorable users.

Barely know some users, but faces gone. Deleted account, staff stepped down. For almost any reason. The green pokemon who has similar name with Bobby? Another user with name "wiki" who wandered in wiki? A meme sparta? And, the one who got me up in ToTM? The spy profile picture guy who greeted me with the red robot? The arcues? Also made some friends through role reviewing though, like the anon who "idolized" me for fun, and the taylor swift profile picture. Wherever they are, hope they are doing well with whatever they're doing right now. I'm missing a lot of people here. Excuse my blurry memory. Whoever knows me, thank you for the whole journey. If I ever hurt someone, I'm sure I did, I'm sorry. I remember losing patience reviewing role. SCI's TK Sniper role is the one I remember the most. Thanks for enduring me.

I see people changed. It doesn't have to be drastic, could be someone who slowly lost their passion. It's understandable, and I understand. People simply don't love things anymore, so do I. I found myself more accepting of things, unlike my old self who was a balance extremist. This is probably a sign I care a bit less. And I found I couldn't multiple role review a day unlike what I did before. But old memories keep me in. Annoyed of it, I hope I could just let go, then I'll be free. I wonder, if people can change, is it acceptable for Wiki to change too?  