Board Thread:Off-Topic Posts/@comment-29936852-20190317143002/@comment-36963837-20190516185002

Hi WritingGrammarCritiquer3000 here

Bovajan wrote: ok another quick story

TID just got if you enjoy writing minis like these I recommend, to become a proper writer, that you remove weak words such as “got”, “get”, etc., as well as “just”— replace this with “had arrived”, possibly adding “recently” in between. home from walking his dog  I’m hanging myself?. Before he could unlock his '''it helps to include variety/distance between the frequency of possessive phrasing and stuff that isn’t; here you use “his”/“he” multiple times. I suggest changing “his” to “the”.''' front door, his neighbour jumped at him and started softly chewing on TID's arm. slight run-on sentence TID also maybe not include abbreviations as names unless it is obviously common to say amongst other characters. threw the man off, confusing phrasing thinking not much of the him. imnotthatmuchofasociopathbutok "I always knew he was a bit insane" he thought to himself. I personally hate when characters think to themselves; it sounds childish and too unrealistic to me. There weren't any wounds to be seen anyways the word “anyways” is frowned upon.. TID continues into his home with his dog. this narration sounds monotonous like a report rather than a story. After a few minutes, he suddenly meh adverb heard screams coming from outside. TID ran to a window and sees people attacking others. again, it sounds like a report. They were literally '''NO. LITERALLY IS THE MOST MISUSED WORD IN RECENT TIMES. LITERALLY IS FOR PHRASING LITERAL MEANINGS OF WORDS IN A WORDOLOGY (I forgot the term) SENSE, NOT AS IN “no joke, Stacy”.''' tearing eachother apart. He then felt something strange. He looked down at his arm only to see the skin around the bite marks decay... the mixture of report-sounding writing style conflicts with this third-person observation