Thread:MewSeeko/@comment-35696193-20181009223021

- When a heroic dog dies to save its master.

- After wrecking your boss’ car.

- Anything else that's stupid. '''No way you read all this. I don't believe it. If you did, leave a message on my message wall saying exactly how many brain cells you lost :D'''
 * Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.
 * Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
 * If you’ve known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.
 * No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy’s birthday is strictly optional.
 * For my birthday I want DLC and robux, thank you very much. Also i want Carbon's forehead. Hey i gave him mine for his birthday.
 * When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who is playing.
 * Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
 * Unless you’re in prison, never fight naked.
 * Women who claim they “love to watch sports” must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers. (I'M A GIRL)
 * Never hesitate to reach for the last soda or the last slice of pizza, but not both; that’s just greedy.
 * If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you’d better be talking about his choice of beer.
 * It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.
 * Thou shall not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.
 * The girl who replies to the question “What do you want for Christmas?” with “If you loved me, you’d know what I want!” gets an Xbox. End of story.
 * There is no reason for guys to watch ice skating or men’s gymnastics. Ever.
 * An apple a day will keep anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.
 * Always follow your heart, but don't forget to bring along your brain. That's important too.
 * I solemnly swear I am up to no good.
 * I did NOT trip or fall. I'm simply fighting the floor. As you can see  I'm totally winning

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