User blog:GhostyFlareEruption/Town of Salem randomness: 51 ways to die in Salem

Ghosty is on his laptop playing ToS, and Desert barges in.

Desert: Can I star in a ToS randomness?

Ghosty: NO!

Desert: Aww, c'mon, please?

Ghosty: NO!1!

Desert: Please

Desert: Please

Desert: Please

Desert keeps saying it until Ghosty gets pissed.

Ghosty: YOU WANT SPECIAL? YOU GOT ONE!

Desert: Yay

1: Pissing off Ghosty

Ghosty punches Desert's head off

51 ways to die in Salem

2: Getting hanged

Desert is walking, and then he gets caught in the noose and kicks off the stool.

3: Machine Gun

A Mafioso kills Desert, and tea bags him

4: Pistol

A Vigilante shoots at Desert's forehead

Desert: Oh, look at that

Desert dies

5: Revolver

Desert dodges the Godfather's shot, but trips and gets shot at again

6: Knife

Desert is walking down a path, and a Serial Killer stalks him down, and then plunges a knife through his head

Desert: Oh, look at that

Desert dies

7: Shooting yourself

Desert looks down the scope of a sniper rifle at a deer, but is pointing the gun at himself

Desert: FIRE!

8: Shotgunned

Desert enters a house, and gets his head blasted off by a Veteran

9: "Executed"

Desert is walking past a jail, and the Jailor drags him in.

Jailor: Get over here!

Desert: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!

10: Bodyguard attacked

Desert gets ready to jump someone, but a Bodyguard comes

Bodyguard: STAMP RIGHT THERE!

Desert: No!

The Bodyguard shoots Desert in the head.

Bodyguard: Now that I have guarded someone, time to die.

He points the gun at his head, throws it away, and bashes his head on a wall

Desert (as a ghost): Dude, what are you doing?

Bodyguard: I'm trying to commit suicide

Desert (as a ghost): Oh my hecking god

11: Burned

Desert is sitting at his house, and then an Arsonist appears and lights him on fire

Desert: AHHHH!! HECKING HECK! OH, HECK! SON OF A HECK!

12: Mauled

Desert is eating bread, and then banging is heard on the door. Foxy breaks in, and tackles Desert.

Desert: WHY THIS WAY?!?

13: Poisoned

Desert: That was a nasty drink?

Poisoner: Lolololololol

The next day

Desert: *ded*

14: Hexed

Desert is sitting at his house, and then a Hex Master appears and lights him on fire

Desert: NOT THIS AGAIN! WHYYYYYYYYYY??!?!!?!

15: Attack Potion

Desert is walking past a dark alley, and a Potion Master is there

Potion Master: Well, hey there. *pulls out attack potion*. Want a free drink

Desert: Hmm...sure, why not?

16: Stoned

Desert lies in his bed, and then the Medusa appears next to him

Desert: NO GOD PLEASE NO! NO! NOOOOOOO!!

17: Ambushed

Desert walks past a bush, and then the Ambusher backstabs him

Desert: More appearing wounds.

Desert dies as the Ambusher runs away from the Sheriff

18: DEUS VULTED

Desert and Jally are drinking tea

Desert: Well, see ya Jally

As soon as he opens the door, a Crusader decapitates him with a longsword

Crusader: JERUSALEM HAS BEEN SAVED!

Jally: No, you phucked up heavily. That's what you did

Crusader: ;-;

19: Ghoul attacks

Desert walks around in the night, and then a ghoul sneaks up behind Desert

20: Drained

Desert lies dead on the floor as the Coven Leader drains Desert's life, gives the audience a thumbs up, and continues

21: 21 21's

Desert starts walking down the path, and then 21 21 numbers fall down from the sky and crush him as he screamed like a girl

22: Pirated

Pirate: Do you want 'cuz a pirate is free. YOU ARE A PIRATE!

The Pirate impales Desert with his rapier and steals all of Desert's stuff

23: Horrible Beating

The Juggernaut has Desert in a sideways headlock and punches him in the face

24: Holy Pestilence

Desert, Jally, Add, and Eclipsa are at a cafe table and then a skeleton dinosaur pops up

Jally: HOLY PHUCKING SHEET!

Add: IT'S A DINOSAUR!

Eclipsa: JESUS CHRIST!

Desert: WHAT THE HEEEEEEEEE--

The dinosaur tail whips the group

25: Bitten by Vampire

Desert is in the shower, and is washing himself, singing. Then, someone breaks in the bathroom.

Desert: AAAAAAHHH!!!

The Vampire bits Desert, and sucks out all his blood until he dies.

26: Staked

Vampire: Congrats, you're one of us now

Desert: NUUU!!

The Vampire hunter impales Desert

Vampire Hunter: Bye bye

Desert: Better than this, I guess

27: Banana Gun

Sondz aims his end at Desert and blasts him

Sondz: Can someone peel me back now, this really hurts?

28+29: Zed's Thunderbolt Ban Hammer

Zed: Okie dokie, look out

Zed zaps his hammer

Zed: FORE!

Desert is hit into the sky

Message: YOU HAVE BEEN BANNED BOI

30: Pitchfork Throwing

Desert aims his pitchform at a target, and hurls. It bounces off a wall and goes through Desert's head

31: Regular Wolves

Desert walks through the forest, and then wolves tear him up

32: COOOOOOOKIE!!!!!

Desert sits down on a table and eats a cookie, and a Pac-Man appears

Pac-Man: *gasp* COOOOOOOKIIE!!!!

More Pac-Mans appears

Desert: OH WHAT THE HE--

The Pac-Mans eat the cookie, and Desert as well

33: Arcy's tackle

Arcy: I'm gonna take down this guy

Arcy is sizing up a big, athletic guy in a football suit

>Arcy used tackle

Arcy misses and hits Desert

Arcy: Sorry about snapping your neck

Desert: Heck you!

34: Damnation

Cheng flies up into the air, and barges down on Desert, pushing him through the world and into the inner core.

Desert's vision: Welp, guess I'm in heck now

Cheng's vision: Desert is burning horribly while Desert sits there doing nothing.

Haw: Umm...Ghosty? We're running out of Deserts. Ghosty: Darn it. What to do?

One Desert walks into the scene.

Desert: Hey guys. What's up?

Ghosty: Well, let's finish this

35-51: ???

Ghosty hits Desert 17 times in the Kirby victory music, and on the 17 hit, Ghosty kicks Desert into space

Ghosty: All done.

THE END!