My dick is 32 inches long. You might just very well think that sounds sexy or whatever, but hey man, life isn’t so good. When you have a dick this long things tend to get a little overwhelming, you know? Getting hard takes up to 25 minutes because the blood has to pump hard to get so high, and I have to hold it up with a hand or a string because if my dick snaps then I can’t pee anymore. Oh, don’t even get me started there. I can’t even take a shit without my dick going so far in the toilet I have to worry about it flushing away. Peeing standing up requires both my hands, feels like I’m carrying some sort of shotgun. I wear customized pants, looks like I have three entire damn legs, and because of that I can’t even ride roller-coasters anymore, or any ride of any sort, not even a swing-set! But it’s not all that bad. I typically use it as a yard stick since it’s almost a yard long and measure T.V. screen sizes, so that’s cool I suppose. Also, when I’m hiking it becomes my walking stick, great for getting rid of all those pesky spider webs! It also makes for a great Halloween costume - well, it used to at least, but having the same costume only freaked people out for several years, now people get weirded out instead. Oh well, well like I said, having this 32 inch monster definitively puts me out of the group that belongs to the average Joes.